Day 88 - To spank or not to spank?

Today was by far our favorite home study visit! We were very relaxed, and so was our social worker. We sat casually in our den and had a great conversation. The time flew by and before we knew it, our social worker said, "Well, I guess that's it!"

Today's topics included our parenting styles, how we plan to discipline, and additional questions about adoption. Here are some of the questions we answered:
How will you handle an "attitude" from your child? (I had some great examples from college students!)
What will you say about your child's birth parents?
What are some parenting techniques you'll emulate with your child?
What are some techniques you won't?
What values do you hope your child will have?
What forms of discipline will you use?
Will you keep adoption a secret from your child?
How will you handle your child wanting to search for his or her birth parents?

We spent a lot of time discussing spanking - a subject that can be "taboo" in the adoption world. In some states, you can be denied a successful home study if you plan to spank. Matt and I were very up front and honest about spanking. We both were spanked as a last resort and will spank our child, if necessary. I know this can be a touchy subject, but one that had to be discussed today. We both feel that it can be used - only as a last resort. Personally, we both were spanked when nothing else worked. Taking it to an extreme and spanking while angry is extremely dangerous. With any discipline measure you use, we know it's important for our child to know what they are doing is wrong, why it is wrong, how they can correct it, how it affects others, and why it has consequences. However, it is key for our child to understand we love them unconditionally. No matter what.

The general theme that we kept going back to was "Model what you expect." I talk about this with our Head Camp Counselors. In fact, my boss said that one time several years ago, and I've continued to use it. It's exactly what we want to do with our child. We expect our child to be kind and considerate. We hope our child learns what's right and wrong from us. We expect honesty. We hope they live a life of integrity. We hope our child learns the value of hard work. We expect our child to respect us and respect others. Most importantly, we want our child to love Jesus. How they learn all of these begins with us. We model what we expect.

This was our last pre-baby visit. Our social worker will type up his report, gather our six reference letters, and submit his write-up to his supervisor for approval! He told us things looked really good for us - praise God! He has heard back from our child abuse and neglect clearance, but is still waiting on the results of our background checks. Please pray those results will come to him soon - this is the check that typically takes the longest. Matt and I have our physicals and blood tests early next week. Pending successful results, that's all we will do for this chapter in our journey. Our social worker said we could be approved in 2-4 weeks. Our adoption consultant in Georgia is working on our profile - we already have the text for that. Matt and I are going to proof that and get that back to them next week. Once they have that, they will add pictures. Once the home study is approved and the profile is finished, we'll apply to agencies! From there, we will move into the waiting chapter.

Jeremy Camp's song, "There Will Be A Day," has been on my mind tonight. Please pray specifically for a friend of mine traveling down the adoption journey too. Pray for her and her husband and for their wait.

There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more, we'll see Jesus face to face
But until that day, we'll hold on to you always

I know the journey seems so long
You feel you’re walking on your own
But there has never been a step
Where you’ve walked out all alone

Thank you for praying for us, sweet family and friends! We are truly blessed!