God is faithful!

James 1:17 - Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

1 Samuel 1:27 - For this child I prayed, and the Lord hath given me my petition which I asked of Him.

We're thrilled to announce the birth of Cooper Matthew! He was born on Friday, August 6th and weighed 7 lbs.

We are overwhelmed by your continued prayers and encouragement! Thank you for making us feel so loved, and we can't wait for you to meet him!

Day 475 - A much needed update

Isaiah 55:9 - For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.

The past several months have been eventful. Multiple things have happened that I don't understand. However, The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to Him in song - Psalm 28:7.

Let me catch you up...

March 2010: My uncle Melford passed away. He was a wonderful man who had a fantastic career at the "evil empire." That was his term for the school on the other side of the state. He and I shared a special bond, and I miss him greatly.

April 2010: As you know, we matched with a birth mother and were thrilled!

Early May 2010: Our adoption fell through. Devastated and confused, we prayerfully sought comfort in the Lord. We still don't understand what happened, but that is okay. We think of the birth mother and her precious baby often and pray they are both doing well.

Mid May 2010: The summer orientation season begins, and my job gets extremely busy!

June 2010: My aunt Becky died. This caught me off guard. She was receiving chemo and was doing well. However, the Lord decided to take her home. I have such fond memories of spending time with Auntie B, Uncle Melford, and their two sons. There is a definite hole in my heart, but I know she is rejoicing in heaven with Melford! There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of her.

There has been a lot of adversity in our lives lately, but we're doing okay. Matt gave me this wonderful devotion book called Jesus Lives by Sarah Young. It speaks directly to me. Several days ago this was part of the devotion:

To trust Me wholeheartedly, you must rest in My sovereignty: My absolute control over the universe. When circumstances seem to be spinning out of control, it's essential to believe I know what I am doing. I orchestrate every event of your life - including suffering and loss - to benefit you in this world and the next. While you are in the throes of adversity, your greatest challenge is to keep trusting that I am both sovereign and good. Do not expect to understand my ways. The best response is simply to thank Me, believing I can bring much good out of the unwanted circumstances. This act of faith will encourage you and glorify Me.

This was the devotion several days later...

Thanking Me for adversity requires a deep level of trust: in My goodness, My mercy, My Love. People who are leaning on their own understanding cannot achieve this depth of trust. So, handling difficulties courageously involves relinquishing your demand to understand.

Ouch! Have I thanked Jesus for the adversity we recently faced? Not really...it's actually very hard to do. Have I tried to lean on my understanding? Yep. Tried to figure out why our adoption failed? You bet.

Have I figured it all out? That's a big fat no. Do I need to try and figure it all out? Another big fat no. Is it hard for me to not understand? Ah - yes, have you met me? You know I like control.

I have to trust the Lord that He is refining me. He can see what's around the corner. And for that, I'm truly greatful for the assurance I have in Jesus.

1 Peter 4:12-13 - Friends, when life gets really difficult, don't jump to the conclusion that God isn't on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner.

I like the Holman translation for that passage too:
12 Dear friends, when the fiery ordeal arises among you to test you, don't be surprised by it, as if something unusual were happening to you. 13 Instead, as you share in the sufferings of the Messiah rejoice, so that you may also rejoice with great joy at the revelation of His glory.

While Matt and I don't know what is around the corner, we will continue to trust the Lord knows exactly what He's doing.

Day 417 - Part 2 - We're MATCHED!

Matt and I have been touched by the song, Always Enough, by Casting Crowns. The song has powerful lyrics – lyrics that have spoken right to us and pierced our hearts. This song has taken on greater meaning the past couple of weeks because…

Matt and I are overjoyed to announce that we have been matched! Our baby is due on September 19th!

We’ve been working with five agencies throughout our adoption journey – in Georgia, Arizona, Kansas, and two in Utah. One of the ones we hadn’t heard much from turned out to be the agency who called saying a birth mother had chosen us! When we had our profile shown, we didn’t think much about it. We were in the process of talking with a couple of other agencies about potential situations, so there was a lot going on.

I received a call on April 12th saying that we had been chosen. I was at work when I got the call right before a staff meeting. I don’t remember much from that meeting at all! I called Matt and got to tell him we had been chosen. We set up a time on Wednesday, April 14th to talk with the our birth mother, L. Fortunately, we had work and children’s choir to keep us occupied until the time for our call – 7 p.m. Our case worker facilitated the conversation. Matt and I weren’t nervous…it was more an excited, oh my goodness, we’re about to talk to a birth mother emotion! The conversation could not have gone any better with L. We all connected, and the conversation flowed smoothly. The only problem was that it wasn’t long enough! Matt and I could have talked with her all night. After the conversation, our case manager called L to see how things went. We loved her, and she loved us! L told our case manager she wanted to move forward with us! We took the night to pray and talk through things. The next day (Thursday) we called to say we wanted to move forward also!

At that time, we didn’t know if it was a boy or girl. L had a scheduled ultrasound on April 19th to find out. Our case manager told us she and L would call after the appointment. Well, Matt and I already had plans to be at beach that weekend for a conference. We were going to head down on Saturday, but quickly changed plans to swing through the Prise to surprise my parents. Matt’s parents were down at the beach for the weekend, we were going to get to surprise them on Saturday.

As we got into the Prise, I called my parents and told them to let us in! They were shocked to see us. We told them we had brought their belated birthday presents to them. The second package they opened contained the game, Memory. Matt and I had created “matches” for them to figure out what was going on…keep in mind, they didn’t know why we were there. After a couple of matches and turning cards over, they began to get wide-eyed! After figuring out what was going on based on the clues, we got to fill in the missing pieces! There were tears, group hugs, and screaming!

The next day, we headed down to Gulf Shores. It worked out nicely that Matt’s parents and sister, brother-in-law, and nephews were down there! We arrange to meet them at a restaurant and planned to do the big reveal there. After chatting and placing our orders, Matt pulled out a present. He told his mother it was an early Mother’s Day gift! As the clues were being turned over, his Dad figured it out, but wouldn’t tell anyone else! Once all the clues were turned over, Matt got to share the great news! More tears and hugs!

I left to come back to work on Monday, April 19th. Matt was there until Wednesday, April 21st. Before I left, I purchased two cards – one that said, it’s a boy, and one that said, it’s a girl. I put them in different colored envelopes so that when I heard from L, I could call Matt and have him open the correct card. I got a call at 3:07 p.m. – I was in the middle of a staff meeting. When my phone rang, everybody got excited – the students and staff knew I was expecting a call! The case manager was on the phone with L – L got to tell me it was a GIRL!!! L and I both were very excited, and I got to talk with her some more about how she was doing. Everything looked great, and the ultrasound went well. After finishing talking with L, I called Matt. At first, I couldn’t get him – he was in a session. However, I quickly called back, and he answered! It was such a joy to get to tell him! Later that night, he told me he didn’t remember much of what was discussed for the rest of the day!

We have gradually begun to spread the word about our match. Please continue to pray for this journey– more specifically for L, our birth mother. Pray for her emotional well being, the baby’s health, and for a continued sense of peace. For us, pray also for a continued sense of peace, as well as patience. I have a feeling this will be a long summer! Matt and I have felt your prayers – thank you for being such faithful prayer warriors!

As I mentioned above, the lyrics to Always Enough have really touched us…

In a dry and weary land Lord,
You are the rain In a sea of shattered ones
Your love comes rushing in
You hold the world within Your hands
And see each tear that falls
Through every fire and every storm
You’re always enough, always enough

Thank you, Lord, for walking through the dry and weary land with us. Thank you for wiping the tears – both sorrowful and joyous – from our eyes. Thank you for being enough.

Your love is peace to the broken
Faith for the widow, hope for the orphan
Strength for the weak
Your love is the anthem of nations
Rings out through the ages
And You’re always enough for me

Thank you, Lord, for providing hope. Hope for all people. Hope for babies who need a home. Hope for mothers unselfishly placing their precious babies for adoption. Thank you for being enough.

You keep my heart in perfect peace
My life is in Your hands
When confusion hides my way
You’re always enough, always enough

Our life is in YOUR hands, Lord. Our precious baby’s life is in YOUR hands, Lord. Thank you, Lord, for an incredible past two weeks – our hearts are at peace. You are always enough. Always.

Your love is peace to the broken
Faith for the widow, hope for the orphan
Strength for the weak
Your love is the anthem of nations
Rings out through the ages
And You’re always enough for me

I rejoice for my Savior reigns
I rejoice for He lives in me God on high,
He has set me free
Worthy is the Lord

Thank you, Lord, for walking through the peaks and valleys with us. We rejoice and give thanks to the Lord! We’ve been chosen and have been matched with a birth mother! Praise the Lord! You are always enough.

I rejoice for my Savior reigns
I rejoice for He lives in me God on high,
He has set me free
Worthy is the Lord

Your love is peace to the broken
Faith for the widow, hope for the orphan
Strength for the weak
Your love is the anthem of nations
Rings out through the ages
And You’re always enough for me

Thank you, Lord, for family who have walked by faith with us. Thank you, Lord, for dear friends who have daily covered us in prayers. Thank you, Lord, for a church family so faithful in encouragement. We rejoice, Lord, for you are always enough.

I rejoice for my Savior reigns
I rejoice for He lives in me God on high,
He has set me free
Worthy is the Lord

In a dry and weary land Lord,
You are the rain

Thank you, Lord, for a connection with a woman who desires to place her child with us. Thank you, Lord, for a woman who is making the most unselfish decision of her life. A decision that will change her life and ours forever.

Habakkuk 2:3 - For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.

Day 414 - Part 1

Hello, my name is Melissa. I am a bad blogger. Please forgive me for leaving you hanging. A lot has happened since January 7. I’ll do my best to recount everything.

As I referenced in the last post, we did get a call about a situation on December 25th. If you’ll recall our case manager told us not to expect to hear from her until after Christmas. So, throughout Christmas, I wasn’t as “attached” to my phone as I have been the past several months. In fact, I even turned it off for awhile…on the 25th. We left my parents’ house after lunch on the 25th to go and spend a couple of days with Matt’s parents. Once we arrived at Matt’s parents, I turned off my phone (I don’t get the greatest coverage there, so my battery drains down pretty quickly). We spent the afternoon and evening playing games and enjoying family time. Late in the day, I turned my phone back on and had a message from our case manager. In short, she had a birth mother in labor that she thought we’d match well with…she had tried to call us earlier, but couldn’t reach us. So, she called another waiting family, and they were considering the situation. My heart sank – why did I turn off my phone? However, I would soon learn the Lord knew why. After the baby was born, the folks who had received the first call changed their minds, so the social worker called us back on December 27th to see if we were interested. Due to some health concerns with the newborn, we decided to pass on the situation – that was very hard! However, I followed up with the case worker over the next week and found out that the first folks that were called did indeed decide to adopt the child! What an answered prayer – we were very concerned about what was going to happen to this precious baby. While we knew it wasn’t the situation for us, we desired for that precious baby to be placed into the right family.

Another agency called on New Year’s Eve! A birth mother was set to deliver on January 5th. After hearing the specifics of this situation, we felt this was not the situation for us either. Both of those situations would have had a quick turnaround – as in, we would have left immediately to fly to make it in time for the births. I began to wonder if the Lord was trying to tell us something. At that time, we didn’t have the nursery painted or any of the bedding ready (not that you need that to bring home a baby to, but we just hadn’t made much progress in the nursery lately). Those phone calls jolted us into action! The nursery was painted within two weeks, and the bedding was taken care of as well.

Remember the situation we got called about on December 16th? Well, we were actually called again about that situation again the second week of January! The birth mother wanted to talk with us. A whole new set of emotions – we were going to get to talk with a birth mother. We prayerfully prepared for the conversation and had a great conversation with her. After the initial conversation, we were definitely interested and were ready to move forward and talk with her again. Except, we never heard from her again. The social worker tried and tried to reach her – even the Director of the adoption agency tried. No luck at all. Her due date came and went – I held onto hope we might hear from her around then. Nothing. To this day, we don’t know what happened. I catch myself wondering about that precious baby quite often.

That’s all for right now! Thank you for your continued prayers and encouragement!

Day 305 - December update

December was a crazy month! Our schedule was very full…why does December always end up like that? In between work and church Christmas parties, hosting a couple of gatherings at our house, regular suppers at Cracker Barrel, IHOP or Chili’s with our dear friends, our fantastic Christmas program at church, speaking to my sorority (topic=Sesame Street and Leadership), entertaining with my mother, oh, and work until December 18th, we had some pretty substantial adoption happenings around our household. More on the exciting adoption happenings later…let me give you a little background first.

Though our schedule was full, and I appeared all together…at times, I was not. December was a rough month for me. Not sure why – maybe it was seeing other families with their children and having thoughts of what it would be like to have Christmas with a child. Who knows. Don’t get me wrong – I had my good days. But, I also had my bad days. I was sad often and almost had to leave Sunday School during one lesson. Thankfully, the Lord brought me through December and has renewed my spirit! I’m also thankful to have an encouraging husband who was there for me each and every minute of the day. I’m so blessed!

Here’s what happened on the adoption front…it may take more than one post to get through it all.

Roller coaster: Any phenomenon, period, or experience of persistent or violent ups and downs, as one fluctuating between prosperity and recession or elation and despair; An action, event, or experience marked by abrupt, extreme changes in circumstance, quality, or behavior.

I’d say the time between December 16th and December 31st was an experience characterized by extreme changes in circumstances and emotions. We weren’t sure what was around the corner! Most of you know that I’m typically a pretty happy person and also a private person. In an effort to become more transparent, I’m going to share some things that may seem out of character for me. However, it’s all part of the journey…our journey. I feel led to let y’all in on what has been going on.

I’ll try and break the past few weeks down by situations:

Thursday, December 3rd: Get a call about twins…do we want our profile shown? We decided no…the twin factor, plus some additional aspects led us to say no.

Wednesday, December 16th: Get a call about a baby to be born in February in Texas…the birth mother asked our case manager to send her ONLY THREE profiles. Our case manager chose our profile and two others. We were very honored, thankful, and humbled…she works with a lot of adoptive families. We’re told a decision might come over the weekend. Gulp. Wow, Lord…we’ve only been officially waiting two months. Could we be matched with a birth mother this soon?

Sunday, December 20th: No word as of the end of the day.

Monday, December 21st (during the day): I call our case manager. The birth mother likes all three profiles and is having a difficult time choosing. I allow myself to get a little excited. This situation sounds ideal.

Monday, December 21st (evening): Case manager calls. At the exact moment the phone rings, I’m holding a precious baby and do my best to get up off of the floor, pass off the baby, and get to my phone. Matt and I excuse our self to the back to take the call.

The birth mother has chosen to go with another family. While sad and disappointed, I trust this is not the baby the Lord has chosen for us. Case manager tells us to not expect to hear from her until after Christmas. Fortunately, we were at someone else’s house and surrounded by kind, caring, and Spirit-filled friends. Matt and I took a moment to regroup and go out to tell our friends who were anxiously waiting. I did well the rest of the night and was able to continue to have a great time fellowshipping with folks.

Tuesday, December 22nd – Wednesday, December 23rd: The devil attacks…I begin to take this “no” a little hard. Harder than I thought I would. Why weren’t we chosen? What’s wrong with us? These were some of the darkest days of our journey. My sadness returned…it took me back to December of last year when we were being diagnosed with infertility. I didn’t really have the Christmas spirit. I just wasn’t as into it as I usually was. Matt was very concerned.

At some point that week, a very wise friend told me that perhaps the Lord was giving us a chance to regroup during Christmas. She reminded me that the case manager told us not to expect to hear from her until after Christmas. I thought about this a lot and believe the Lord knew we needed a little break. A time where we didn’t have to constantly be glued to our cell phones waiting on someone to call. A little break to breathe and relax. How blessed we are to have such encouraging people in our lives.

Like I mentioned earlier, Matt was there for me every single minute during the month of December. He was always there with an encouraging word, wise scripture passage, or just a hug. His faithfulness is amazing. We talk a lot about how we are thankful to be in this. The ups and downs have brought us closer to each other, but more importantly, to our Lord.

We headed south to visit our families on Wednesday, December 23 and had a wonderful time with them until we returned on Sunday, December 27. Those five days were spent resting, laughing, eating some wonderful food, playing games, resting some more, and truly enjoying our loved ones!

That’s it for this post…thank you for allowing me to be real with you. Your prayers lifted me up during the month of December, and I am forever thankful. Bless you.

Here’s what you have to look forward to in future posts:

- A phone call on the night of December 25th from a case manager!
- A phone call on Sunday, December 27th from the same case manager!
- A phone call on Thursday, December 31st from a different case manager!
- We’ve painted the nursery (part of it’s lime green – I know you’re thrilled it’s done, S.J.!)