Thursday, August 27, 2009

Day 172 - Frustrated, but still full of Faith

We've encountered a minor setback. Our home study document was lost. The server went down, and the entire document was lost last week. Our social worker has been working this week to retype everything. Was I frustrated? Yep. Did I have a pity party for us? A little one. Did I get angry? Yep. Have I lost faith? No way. As I've had time to process everything, it got me even more excited. As I talked with my dear friend, C, last night, I was reminded this happened for a reason. I know the Lord will choose the perfect baby for us. We may not know why that server crashed until we hold our child in our arms. I stumbled across an adoption blog today, and it discussed Habakkuk 2:3 - For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.

The blog actually had this translation: Habakkuk 2:3 - But these things I plan won't happen right away, slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, be patient, for it will surely take place. It will not be late by one single day.

Wow - that version spoke right to me when I needed it the most. I was reminded that every delay is guided by Him. We have to have faith that our desire to be parents will be fulfilled at the perfect time. It will not be late by one single day.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Day 163 - Cleared!

Praise the Lord - we got our last police clearance last week! Matt had a feeling it would come last week, and it did! This clearance was by the State Police - they had to run our arrest records. I feel like our life histories have been researched and approved by every law enforcement agency in the country! The agency who is doing our home study is now compiling the final report. The main office is in Birmingham, and our social worker will be there later on this week. He is supposed to give us another update once he gets back. His supervisor has to sign off on the final report. After that, we'll be able to submit our applications to adoption agencies!

On a different note, Matt and I have decided we want to read through the Bible together. We are reading two chapters together each day and discussing what we read. We'll read one book in the Old Testament, then one in the New Testament. I'm so thankful for a husband who encourages me to be in the Word!

We've also been doing a series in Sunday School based on the movie, Fireproof. The homework has led to great discussions between us and has strengthened our marriage. We came across this verse and have been moved by how it truly speaks to us.

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalm 139: 23-24

While sometimes I feel like we're on an island by ourselves, I'm comforted by the fact the Lord knows our inner thoughts. He knows our frustrations, He knows our joys, He knows our offensive ways, but He also knows our hearts. We cling to the promise that He will lead and guide us. We are on a journey guided by Him.

We continue to be blessed by your prayers and support - thank you! We're excited to be getting closer and closer to applying to adoption agencies!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Day 150 - Still waiting

Thanks for your patience with our updates! I have no excuse - I've simply been enjoying life after CWE. I've been spending some much needed time with Matt, sharing wonderful time with our families, and enjoying great times with our friends!

We've been in contact with our social worker the last couple of weeks. In the most recent call, he apologized to us for getting our hopes up about our home study being complete. Apparently, we have one more clearance - the State Police. He has no idea how long this will take to come back. To be quite honest, we were a little frustrated - we thought since the FBI and ABI cleared us, that was all we needed. Matt called the Alabama Division of Public Safety yesterday - all they knew about was ABI clearance. All we can do is pray for patience and that the clearance comes back soon. We've learned a lot throughout this journey - especially that everything happens in His perfect timing. I can't help but think this latest delay is all a part of the Lord's design in matching us with the perfect child. Perhaps the birth mother isn't quite ready...maybe our baby hasn't been born yet...or perhaps He's trying to teach us to trust in Him more.

I spent the day in Birmingham with my best friend, Anna. I can't tell you how good it feels to spend time with her and her dear family. This is the second time I've gotten to see them this summer! I'm so blessed! We spent the day shopping, having great fellowship, and hanging out with her precious daughter. Her daughter calls me "Sissy." My heart melts each time she says it. Anna is a wonderful mother and a wonderful, godly example - she's very patient, kind, and encouraging. I hope I'm half the mother she is. While I wish we didn't live in different states, it's comforting to know that no matter how far apart we are, she's always there for me. No matter what. For that, I'm eternally thankful.