Day 475 - A much needed update

Isaiah 55:9 - For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.

The past several months have been eventful. Multiple things have happened that I don't understand. However, The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to Him in song - Psalm 28:7.

Let me catch you up...

March 2010: My uncle Melford passed away. He was a wonderful man who had a fantastic career at the "evil empire." That was his term for the school on the other side of the state. He and I shared a special bond, and I miss him greatly.

April 2010: As you know, we matched with a birth mother and were thrilled!

Early May 2010: Our adoption fell through. Devastated and confused, we prayerfully sought comfort in the Lord. We still don't understand what happened, but that is okay. We think of the birth mother and her precious baby often and pray they are both doing well.

Mid May 2010: The summer orientation season begins, and my job gets extremely busy!

June 2010: My aunt Becky died. This caught me off guard. She was receiving chemo and was doing well. However, the Lord decided to take her home. I have such fond memories of spending time with Auntie B, Uncle Melford, and their two sons. There is a definite hole in my heart, but I know she is rejoicing in heaven with Melford! There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of her.

There has been a lot of adversity in our lives lately, but we're doing okay. Matt gave me this wonderful devotion book called Jesus Lives by Sarah Young. It speaks directly to me. Several days ago this was part of the devotion:

To trust Me wholeheartedly, you must rest in My sovereignty: My absolute control over the universe. When circumstances seem to be spinning out of control, it's essential to believe I know what I am doing. I orchestrate every event of your life - including suffering and loss - to benefit you in this world and the next. While you are in the throes of adversity, your greatest challenge is to keep trusting that I am both sovereign and good. Do not expect to understand my ways. The best response is simply to thank Me, believing I can bring much good out of the unwanted circumstances. This act of faith will encourage you and glorify Me.

This was the devotion several days later...

Thanking Me for adversity requires a deep level of trust: in My goodness, My mercy, My Love. People who are leaning on their own understanding cannot achieve this depth of trust. So, handling difficulties courageously involves relinquishing your demand to understand.

Ouch! Have I thanked Jesus for the adversity we recently faced? Not really...it's actually very hard to do. Have I tried to lean on my understanding? Yep. Tried to figure out why our adoption failed? You bet.

Have I figured it all out? That's a big fat no. Do I need to try and figure it all out? Another big fat no. Is it hard for me to not understand? Ah - yes, have you met me? You know I like control.

I have to trust the Lord that He is refining me. He can see what's around the corner. And for that, I'm truly greatful for the assurance I have in Jesus.

1 Peter 4:12-13 - Friends, when life gets really difficult, don't jump to the conclusion that God isn't on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner.

I like the Holman translation for that passage too:
12 Dear friends, when the fiery ordeal arises among you to test you, don't be surprised by it, as if something unusual were happening to you. 13 Instead, as you share in the sufferings of the Messiah rejoice, so that you may also rejoice with great joy at the revelation of His glory.

While Matt and I don't know what is around the corner, we will continue to trust the Lord knows exactly what He's doing.