God is faithful!

James 1:17 - Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

1 Samuel 1:27 - For this child I prayed, and the Lord hath given me my petition which I asked of Him.

We're thrilled to announce the birth of Cooper Matthew! He was born on Friday, August 6th and weighed 7 lbs.

We are overwhelmed by your continued prayers and encouragement! Thank you for making us feel so loved, and we can't wait for you to meet him!

Day 475 - A much needed update

Isaiah 55:9 - For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.

The past several months have been eventful. Multiple things have happened that I don't understand. However, The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to Him in song - Psalm 28:7.

Let me catch you up...

March 2010: My uncle Melford passed away. He was a wonderful man who had a fantastic career at the "evil empire." That was his term for the school on the other side of the state. He and I shared a special bond, and I miss him greatly.

April 2010: As you know, we matched with a birth mother and were thrilled!

Early May 2010: Our adoption fell through. Devastated and confused, we prayerfully sought comfort in the Lord. We still don't understand what happened, but that is okay. We think of the birth mother and her precious baby often and pray they are both doing well.

Mid May 2010: The summer orientation season begins, and my job gets extremely busy!

June 2010: My aunt Becky died. This caught me off guard. She was receiving chemo and was doing well. However, the Lord decided to take her home. I have such fond memories of spending time with Auntie B, Uncle Melford, and their two sons. There is a definite hole in my heart, but I know she is rejoicing in heaven with Melford! There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of her.

There has been a lot of adversity in our lives lately, but we're doing okay. Matt gave me this wonderful devotion book called Jesus Lives by Sarah Young. It speaks directly to me. Several days ago this was part of the devotion:

To trust Me wholeheartedly, you must rest in My sovereignty: My absolute control over the universe. When circumstances seem to be spinning out of control, it's essential to believe I know what I am doing. I orchestrate every event of your life - including suffering and loss - to benefit you in this world and the next. While you are in the throes of adversity, your greatest challenge is to keep trusting that I am both sovereign and good. Do not expect to understand my ways. The best response is simply to thank Me, believing I can bring much good out of the unwanted circumstances. This act of faith will encourage you and glorify Me.

This was the devotion several days later...

Thanking Me for adversity requires a deep level of trust: in My goodness, My mercy, My Love. People who are leaning on their own understanding cannot achieve this depth of trust. So, handling difficulties courageously involves relinquishing your demand to understand.

Ouch! Have I thanked Jesus for the adversity we recently faced? Not really...it's actually very hard to do. Have I tried to lean on my understanding? Yep. Tried to figure out why our adoption failed? You bet.

Have I figured it all out? That's a big fat no. Do I need to try and figure it all out? Another big fat no. Is it hard for me to not understand? Ah - yes, have you met me? You know I like control.

I have to trust the Lord that He is refining me. He can see what's around the corner. And for that, I'm truly greatful for the assurance I have in Jesus.

1 Peter 4:12-13 - Friends, when life gets really difficult, don't jump to the conclusion that God isn't on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner.

I like the Holman translation for that passage too:
12 Dear friends, when the fiery ordeal arises among you to test you, don't be surprised by it, as if something unusual were happening to you. 13 Instead, as you share in the sufferings of the Messiah rejoice, so that you may also rejoice with great joy at the revelation of His glory.

While Matt and I don't know what is around the corner, we will continue to trust the Lord knows exactly what He's doing.

Day 417 - Part 2 - We're MATCHED!

Matt and I have been touched by the song, Always Enough, by Casting Crowns. The song has powerful lyrics – lyrics that have spoken right to us and pierced our hearts. This song has taken on greater meaning the past couple of weeks because…

Matt and I are overjoyed to announce that we have been matched! Our baby is due on September 19th!

We’ve been working with five agencies throughout our adoption journey – in Georgia, Arizona, Kansas, and two in Utah. One of the ones we hadn’t heard much from turned out to be the agency who called saying a birth mother had chosen us! When we had our profile shown, we didn’t think much about it. We were in the process of talking with a couple of other agencies about potential situations, so there was a lot going on.

I received a call on April 12th saying that we had been chosen. I was at work when I got the call right before a staff meeting. I don’t remember much from that meeting at all! I called Matt and got to tell him we had been chosen. We set up a time on Wednesday, April 14th to talk with the our birth mother, L. Fortunately, we had work and children’s choir to keep us occupied until the time for our call – 7 p.m. Our case worker facilitated the conversation. Matt and I weren’t nervous…it was more an excited, oh my goodness, we’re about to talk to a birth mother emotion! The conversation could not have gone any better with L. We all connected, and the conversation flowed smoothly. The only problem was that it wasn’t long enough! Matt and I could have talked with her all night. After the conversation, our case manager called L to see how things went. We loved her, and she loved us! L told our case manager she wanted to move forward with us! We took the night to pray and talk through things. The next day (Thursday) we called to say we wanted to move forward also!

At that time, we didn’t know if it was a boy or girl. L had a scheduled ultrasound on April 19th to find out. Our case manager told us she and L would call after the appointment. Well, Matt and I already had plans to be at beach that weekend for a conference. We were going to head down on Saturday, but quickly changed plans to swing through the Prise to surprise my parents. Matt’s parents were down at the beach for the weekend, we were going to get to surprise them on Saturday.

As we got into the Prise, I called my parents and told them to let us in! They were shocked to see us. We told them we had brought their belated birthday presents to them. The second package they opened contained the game, Memory. Matt and I had created “matches” for them to figure out what was going on…keep in mind, they didn’t know why we were there. After a couple of matches and turning cards over, they began to get wide-eyed! After figuring out what was going on based on the clues, we got to fill in the missing pieces! There were tears, group hugs, and screaming!

The next day, we headed down to Gulf Shores. It worked out nicely that Matt’s parents and sister, brother-in-law, and nephews were down there! We arrange to meet them at a restaurant and planned to do the big reveal there. After chatting and placing our orders, Matt pulled out a present. He told his mother it was an early Mother’s Day gift! As the clues were being turned over, his Dad figured it out, but wouldn’t tell anyone else! Once all the clues were turned over, Matt got to share the great news! More tears and hugs!

I left to come back to work on Monday, April 19th. Matt was there until Wednesday, April 21st. Before I left, I purchased two cards – one that said, it’s a boy, and one that said, it’s a girl. I put them in different colored envelopes so that when I heard from L, I could call Matt and have him open the correct card. I got a call at 3:07 p.m. – I was in the middle of a staff meeting. When my phone rang, everybody got excited – the students and staff knew I was expecting a call! The case manager was on the phone with L – L got to tell me it was a GIRL!!! L and I both were very excited, and I got to talk with her some more about how she was doing. Everything looked great, and the ultrasound went well. After finishing talking with L, I called Matt. At first, I couldn’t get him – he was in a session. However, I quickly called back, and he answered! It was such a joy to get to tell him! Later that night, he told me he didn’t remember much of what was discussed for the rest of the day!

We have gradually begun to spread the word about our match. Please continue to pray for this journey– more specifically for L, our birth mother. Pray for her emotional well being, the baby’s health, and for a continued sense of peace. For us, pray also for a continued sense of peace, as well as patience. I have a feeling this will be a long summer! Matt and I have felt your prayers – thank you for being such faithful prayer warriors!

As I mentioned above, the lyrics to Always Enough have really touched us…

In a dry and weary land Lord,
You are the rain In a sea of shattered ones
Your love comes rushing in
You hold the world within Your hands
And see each tear that falls
Through every fire and every storm
You’re always enough, always enough

Thank you, Lord, for walking through the dry and weary land with us. Thank you for wiping the tears – both sorrowful and joyous – from our eyes. Thank you for being enough.

Your love is peace to the broken
Faith for the widow, hope for the orphan
Strength for the weak
Your love is the anthem of nations
Rings out through the ages
And You’re always enough for me

Thank you, Lord, for providing hope. Hope for all people. Hope for babies who need a home. Hope for mothers unselfishly placing their precious babies for adoption. Thank you for being enough.

You keep my heart in perfect peace
My life is in Your hands
When confusion hides my way
You’re always enough, always enough

Our life is in YOUR hands, Lord. Our precious baby’s life is in YOUR hands, Lord. Thank you, Lord, for an incredible past two weeks – our hearts are at peace. You are always enough. Always.

Your love is peace to the broken
Faith for the widow, hope for the orphan
Strength for the weak
Your love is the anthem of nations
Rings out through the ages
And You’re always enough for me

I rejoice for my Savior reigns
I rejoice for He lives in me God on high,
He has set me free
Worthy is the Lord

Thank you, Lord, for walking through the peaks and valleys with us. We rejoice and give thanks to the Lord! We’ve been chosen and have been matched with a birth mother! Praise the Lord! You are always enough.

I rejoice for my Savior reigns
I rejoice for He lives in me God on high,
He has set me free
Worthy is the Lord

Your love is peace to the broken
Faith for the widow, hope for the orphan
Strength for the weak
Your love is the anthem of nations
Rings out through the ages
And You’re always enough for me

Thank you, Lord, for family who have walked by faith with us. Thank you, Lord, for dear friends who have daily covered us in prayers. Thank you, Lord, for a church family so faithful in encouragement. We rejoice, Lord, for you are always enough.

I rejoice for my Savior reigns
I rejoice for He lives in me God on high,
He has set me free
Worthy is the Lord

In a dry and weary land Lord,
You are the rain

Thank you, Lord, for a connection with a woman who desires to place her child with us. Thank you, Lord, for a woman who is making the most unselfish decision of her life. A decision that will change her life and ours forever.

Habakkuk 2:3 - For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.

Day 414 - Part 1

Hello, my name is Melissa. I am a bad blogger. Please forgive me for leaving you hanging. A lot has happened since January 7. I’ll do my best to recount everything.

As I referenced in the last post, we did get a call about a situation on December 25th. If you’ll recall our case manager told us not to expect to hear from her until after Christmas. So, throughout Christmas, I wasn’t as “attached” to my phone as I have been the past several months. In fact, I even turned it off for awhile…on the 25th. We left my parents’ house after lunch on the 25th to go and spend a couple of days with Matt’s parents. Once we arrived at Matt’s parents, I turned off my phone (I don’t get the greatest coverage there, so my battery drains down pretty quickly). We spent the afternoon and evening playing games and enjoying family time. Late in the day, I turned my phone back on and had a message from our case manager. In short, she had a birth mother in labor that she thought we’d match well with…she had tried to call us earlier, but couldn’t reach us. So, she called another waiting family, and they were considering the situation. My heart sank – why did I turn off my phone? However, I would soon learn the Lord knew why. After the baby was born, the folks who had received the first call changed their minds, so the social worker called us back on December 27th to see if we were interested. Due to some health concerns with the newborn, we decided to pass on the situation – that was very hard! However, I followed up with the case worker over the next week and found out that the first folks that were called did indeed decide to adopt the child! What an answered prayer – we were very concerned about what was going to happen to this precious baby. While we knew it wasn’t the situation for us, we desired for that precious baby to be placed into the right family.

Another agency called on New Year’s Eve! A birth mother was set to deliver on January 5th. After hearing the specifics of this situation, we felt this was not the situation for us either. Both of those situations would have had a quick turnaround – as in, we would have left immediately to fly to make it in time for the births. I began to wonder if the Lord was trying to tell us something. At that time, we didn’t have the nursery painted or any of the bedding ready (not that you need that to bring home a baby to, but we just hadn’t made much progress in the nursery lately). Those phone calls jolted us into action! The nursery was painted within two weeks, and the bedding was taken care of as well.

Remember the situation we got called about on December 16th? Well, we were actually called again about that situation again the second week of January! The birth mother wanted to talk with us. A whole new set of emotions – we were going to get to talk with a birth mother. We prayerfully prepared for the conversation and had a great conversation with her. After the initial conversation, we were definitely interested and were ready to move forward and talk with her again. Except, we never heard from her again. The social worker tried and tried to reach her – even the Director of the adoption agency tried. No luck at all. Her due date came and went – I held onto hope we might hear from her around then. Nothing. To this day, we don’t know what happened. I catch myself wondering about that precious baby quite often.

That’s all for right now! Thank you for your continued prayers and encouragement!

Day 305 - December update

December was a crazy month! Our schedule was very full…why does December always end up like that? In between work and church Christmas parties, hosting a couple of gatherings at our house, regular suppers at Cracker Barrel, IHOP or Chili’s with our dear friends, our fantastic Christmas program at church, speaking to my sorority (topic=Sesame Street and Leadership), entertaining with my mother, oh, and work until December 18th, we had some pretty substantial adoption happenings around our household. More on the exciting adoption happenings later…let me give you a little background first.

Though our schedule was full, and I appeared all together…at times, I was not. December was a rough month for me. Not sure why – maybe it was seeing other families with their children and having thoughts of what it would be like to have Christmas with a child. Who knows. Don’t get me wrong – I had my good days. But, I also had my bad days. I was sad often and almost had to leave Sunday School during one lesson. Thankfully, the Lord brought me through December and has renewed my spirit! I’m also thankful to have an encouraging husband who was there for me each and every minute of the day. I’m so blessed!

Here’s what happened on the adoption front…it may take more than one post to get through it all.

Roller coaster: Any phenomenon, period, or experience of persistent or violent ups and downs, as one fluctuating between prosperity and recession or elation and despair; An action, event, or experience marked by abrupt, extreme changes in circumstance, quality, or behavior.

I’d say the time between December 16th and December 31st was an experience characterized by extreme changes in circumstances and emotions. We weren’t sure what was around the corner! Most of you know that I’m typically a pretty happy person and also a private person. In an effort to become more transparent, I’m going to share some things that may seem out of character for me. However, it’s all part of the journey…our journey. I feel led to let y’all in on what has been going on.

I’ll try and break the past few weeks down by situations:

Thursday, December 3rd: Get a call about twins…do we want our profile shown? We decided no…the twin factor, plus some additional aspects led us to say no.

Wednesday, December 16th: Get a call about a baby to be born in February in Texas…the birth mother asked our case manager to send her ONLY THREE profiles. Our case manager chose our profile and two others. We were very honored, thankful, and humbled…she works with a lot of adoptive families. We’re told a decision might come over the weekend. Gulp. Wow, Lord…we’ve only been officially waiting two months. Could we be matched with a birth mother this soon?

Sunday, December 20th: No word as of the end of the day.

Monday, December 21st (during the day): I call our case manager. The birth mother likes all three profiles and is having a difficult time choosing. I allow myself to get a little excited. This situation sounds ideal.

Monday, December 21st (evening): Case manager calls. At the exact moment the phone rings, I’m holding a precious baby and do my best to get up off of the floor, pass off the baby, and get to my phone. Matt and I excuse our self to the back to take the call.

The birth mother has chosen to go with another family. While sad and disappointed, I trust this is not the baby the Lord has chosen for us. Case manager tells us to not expect to hear from her until after Christmas. Fortunately, we were at someone else’s house and surrounded by kind, caring, and Spirit-filled friends. Matt and I took a moment to regroup and go out to tell our friends who were anxiously waiting. I did well the rest of the night and was able to continue to have a great time fellowshipping with folks.

Tuesday, December 22nd – Wednesday, December 23rd: The devil attacks…I begin to take this “no” a little hard. Harder than I thought I would. Why weren’t we chosen? What’s wrong with us? These were some of the darkest days of our journey. My sadness returned…it took me back to December of last year when we were being diagnosed with infertility. I didn’t really have the Christmas spirit. I just wasn’t as into it as I usually was. Matt was very concerned.

At some point that week, a very wise friend told me that perhaps the Lord was giving us a chance to regroup during Christmas. She reminded me that the case manager told us not to expect to hear from her until after Christmas. I thought about this a lot and believe the Lord knew we needed a little break. A time where we didn’t have to constantly be glued to our cell phones waiting on someone to call. A little break to breathe and relax. How blessed we are to have such encouraging people in our lives.

Like I mentioned earlier, Matt was there for me every single minute during the month of December. He was always there with an encouraging word, wise scripture passage, or just a hug. His faithfulness is amazing. We talk a lot about how we are thankful to be in this. The ups and downs have brought us closer to each other, but more importantly, to our Lord.

We headed south to visit our families on Wednesday, December 23 and had a wonderful time with them until we returned on Sunday, December 27. Those five days were spent resting, laughing, eating some wonderful food, playing games, resting some more, and truly enjoying our loved ones!

That’s it for this post…thank you for allowing me to be real with you. Your prayers lifted me up during the month of December, and I am forever thankful. Bless you.

Here’s what you have to look forward to in future posts:

- A phone call on the night of December 25th from a case manager!
- A phone call on Sunday, December 27th from the same case manager!
- A phone call on Thursday, December 31st from a different case manager!
- We’ve painted the nursery (part of it’s lime green – I know you’re thrilled it’s done, S.J.!)

Day 256 - Thursday's Thankful Thoughts

We’ve been reminded lately of all we’re thankful for…

1. Our adoption journey – I’m amazed how open we’ve become in talking about our journey and how we got to where we are. We’re thankful for the peace of mind and heart’s desire He has given us for adoption. We have both said that if we can help others who have or are experiencing fertility difficulties or hoping to adopt, we will do it. What a blessing this has been.

2. And what a roller coaster it’s been! The excitement of our profile being shown to the sadness of not being chosen. However, there is one constant – the Lord is and will continue to be beside us each time. We did find out we were not chosen by the birth mother due in March. Currently, our profile is being shown to a birth mother in Virginia. Thank you, Lord, for these women choosing life for their babies so that families like us have the opportunity (and blessing) to be parents!

3. Family – I always look forward to the holiday season. It means lots of family time! Our families are a constant source of encouragement to us and very supportive.

4. Friends – both new and old! Friends that make you belly laugh each time you’re around them. Every time. Friends that continue to lift us up in prayer. Friends who are there for us no matter what.

5. Our marriage – We are thankful for how God has used His Plan for us to strengthen our relationship with Him and each other.

6. Our church – we are very fortunate to be a part of a body of Christ that supports and encourages us. Each week, we feel blessed to hear from God-directed leaders.

Matt sent me this verse this morning. It brought tears to my eyes. What a gentle reminder to be joyful, patient, and faithful.

Romans 12:12 – Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer.

Day 238 - Ten at Ten

1. Our profile was shown late Thursday night to a birth mother due in March. She is looking at multiple profiles. I'm not sure when we'll hear something.

2. It was also shown earlier in the week to another birth mother due in December. We were not chosen. I'm okay with that. It was a little exciting to think we might have a baby by Christmas. However, the reality is that in most cases profiles are shown multiple times before being chosen. This was actually the first time it was shown.

3. We received an email this past Friday and were approved at another agency - this one is Utah!

4. I spoke with the 5th agency we're applying to (also in Utah) on Friday. They have everything they need, so we should be good to go there any day!

5. Auburn won yesterday! Finally! Fun game - especially the wild 3rd quarter!

6. I've lived in this town for thirteen years and had never eaten at Jim Bob's! However, now I have! We went on Friday night - it was yummy!

7. We've spent some great time with our families over the past week. From Syrup Soppin' to the downtown trick or treating to tailgating and football! We've had a great time!

8. We've decided on a nursery paint color: Hep Green from Sherwin-Williams. It's bright, and I love it!

9. I can't believe the CWE 2010 Camp Counselors will be selected this week. Wow. This summer will be my 9th summer with CWE!

10. Did I mention Auburn won yesterday?

Good night! As always, thanks for your prayers!

Day 227 - Here we go!

We've been approved at two agencies so far. The first approval came from an agency in Arizona. It took less than a week with them! That application was mailed on Wednesday, October 7. It arrived to Arizona on Friday, October 9, and we had an email welcoming us the following Monday. An agency in Georgia also approved us last week. With them, we won't be notified that our profile is being shown until after a birth mother chooses us. Additionally, we've heard from a third agency in Utah. Hopefully, our approval with them will come this week.

Wow! Things are rocking and rolling!

We've already been looking at the available situations with the agency in Arizona. We have asked that our profile be shown to two expectant birth mothers. Please be in prayer as we enter this new phase. This phase will be full of emotion - from the hope of a birth mother wanting to talk with us after seeing our profile to the despair of not being chosen after knowing someone has looked at our profile. It can also mean being elated to be matched with a birth mother, but it can also mean the harsh reality of a match failing at the last minute. This new phase will be a rollercoaster ride! It's hard to prepare yourself for this portion - there is so much that is unknown.

On another note, if you have a question about adoption or what something means, please leave it in the comment section. When Matt and I first started in this journey, we had no idea of what all adoption entailed and quickly realized we had a lot to learn. We've learned so much from other folks who have or are walking this journey, and we'd love to help educate others about the adoption process. While we don't know everything, we'll do our best to answer your questions.

Matt and I appreciate your prayers for us and for the birth parents. We know the Lord has had His hand in our journey. We know He will continue to hold us and guide us as He leads us to our child.

Day 214 - Applications mailed!

Praise the Lord - we've mailed three applications to adoption agencies! I checked our delivery confirmation slips late this afternoon. One had already arrived at the agency in Georgia, one was in the post office in Kansas, and one was in "transit" to Arizona!

Many of you have asked what our next step will be. From here, we wait to hear back from each agency. For example, according to one agency's website, it takes about one week to register us once our information is received. After that, we should receive an e-mail from them with instructions of how to proceed. We will have access to available situations they have and can request our profile be presented. For other adoption agencies, it can take up to 30 days to process our application.

It's hard to give a definite timeline for anything with adoption. There are so many unknowns. For me, the lack of control has been the biggest obstacle. Many of you who know me know I like control. There I said it. I like to know what's going on, I have my own method of doing things, and I want things to go like I plan. Well, adoption has taught me a lot about releasing my need to control. I'm not in control, the Lord is. He already has a precious baby chosen for us. Chosen by God. For us. Isn't that wonderful to think about?

As we enter into the next season of waiting, I have several specific prayer requests:

- Pray for those adoptive parents that have been waiting to be matched.

- Pray for our baby's birth parents. Pray for a sense of peace and assurance. Thank the Lord they have chosen life for their baby.

- Pray for the Lord to lead us to the right situation.

- Pray for us as we wait. Pray for continued patience and faithfulness.

Thank you very much for your words of encouragement!

Day 210 - We have the home study!

We have the home study in hand! It arrived from our consultant on Friday, and we're thrilled! We are applying to adoption agencies this week - we are so thankful this day has come! Matt and I created a plan tonight for getting everything ready this week. Now that we have the home study, we don't want to waste any time!

We'll get copies made of the document tomorrow, then get them ready to mail. We are applying to five adoption agencies across the country. Once the agencies receive our application, they have to approve us as potential clients. Typically (and I use that word lightly), that approval takes no more than 30 days.

We are entering into the next step of our adoption journey. Thank you for praying continually for us - we are very blessed!

Day 198 - Home Study Update, Part 2

Thanks for your prayers! Matt was able to talk with our social worker this morning. Our social worker picked up the corrected document this afternoon and should have things updated tomorrow or Thursday. From there, he will mail the copies of the home study to our Adoption Consultant in Atlanta. Our next step is to apply to agencies! Again, thank you for being so faithful to pray for us!

On a different note, today is my Nanny's birthday! She would have been 100 years old! I have such fond memories of her - from fixing me cheese grits to scratching my back with her always painted fingernails to riding around in her HUGE tank of a car. She was such a lovely lady!

Day 197 - Home Study Update

This has been our prayer as of late:

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait
-John Waller, "While I'm Waiting"

I think this song should be the theme of adoption. Adoption is full of waiting. And we haven't even gotten to the point where we are waiting on a birth mother to choose us.

I'm hopeful because we've seen a draft of our home study (all 19 pages of it)! Our social worker dropped it off on Saturday, and we read through it and made corrections on Sunday afternoon (we had to dry out after that thrilling AU victory!).

It's painful because we're waiting to hear back from our social worker on when we can get the corrected copy back to him. Each day is precious to us. There were some problems outside of our control in getting the actual copy to us, and we were a little frustrated.

However, I'm hopeful he'll return our call very soon.

But patiently, we will wait.

Day 172 - Frustrated, but still full of Faith

We've encountered a minor setback. Our home study document was lost. The server went down, and the entire document was lost last week. Our social worker has been working this week to retype everything. Was I frustrated? Yep. Did I have a pity party for us? A little one. Did I get angry? Yep. Have I lost faith? No way. As I've had time to process everything, it got me even more excited. As I talked with my dear friend, C, last night, I was reminded this happened for a reason. I know the Lord will choose the perfect baby for us. We may not know why that server crashed until we hold our child in our arms. I stumbled across an adoption blog today, and it discussed Habakkuk 2:3 - For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.

The blog actually had this translation: Habakkuk 2:3 - But these things I plan won't happen right away, slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, be patient, for it will surely take place. It will not be late by one single day.

Wow - that version spoke right to me when I needed it the most. I was reminded that every delay is guided by Him. We have to have faith that our desire to be parents will be fulfilled at the perfect time. It will not be late by one single day.

Day 163 - Cleared!

Praise the Lord - we got our last police clearance last week! Matt had a feeling it would come last week, and it did! This clearance was by the State Police - they had to run our arrest records. I feel like our life histories have been researched and approved by every law enforcement agency in the country! The agency who is doing our home study is now compiling the final report. The main office is in Birmingham, and our social worker will be there later on this week. He is supposed to give us another update once he gets back. His supervisor has to sign off on the final report. After that, we'll be able to submit our applications to adoption agencies!

On a different note, Matt and I have decided we want to read through the Bible together. We are reading two chapters together each day and discussing what we read. We'll read one book in the Old Testament, then one in the New Testament. I'm so thankful for a husband who encourages me to be in the Word!

We've also been doing a series in Sunday School based on the movie, Fireproof. The homework has led to great discussions between us and has strengthened our marriage. We came across this verse and have been moved by how it truly speaks to us.

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalm 139: 23-24

While sometimes I feel like we're on an island by ourselves, I'm comforted by the fact the Lord knows our inner thoughts. He knows our frustrations, He knows our joys, He knows our offensive ways, but He also knows our hearts. We cling to the promise that He will lead and guide us. We are on a journey guided by Him.

We continue to be blessed by your prayers and support - thank you! We're excited to be getting closer and closer to applying to adoption agencies!

Day 150 - Still waiting

Thanks for your patience with our updates! I have no excuse - I've simply been enjoying life after CWE. I've been spending some much needed time with Matt, sharing wonderful time with our families, and enjoying great times with our friends!

We've been in contact with our social worker the last couple of weeks. In the most recent call, he apologized to us for getting our hopes up about our home study being complete. Apparently, we have one more clearance - the State Police. He has no idea how long this will take to come back. To be quite honest, we were a little frustrated - we thought since the FBI and ABI cleared us, that was all we needed. Matt called the Alabama Division of Public Safety yesterday - all they knew about was ABI clearance. All we can do is pray for patience and that the clearance comes back soon. We've learned a lot throughout this journey - especially that everything happens in His perfect timing. I can't help but think this latest delay is all a part of the Lord's design in matching us with the perfect child. Perhaps the birth mother isn't quite ready...maybe our baby hasn't been born yet...or perhaps He's trying to teach us to trust in Him more.

I spent the day in Birmingham with my best friend, Anna. I can't tell you how good it feels to spend time with her and her dear family. This is the second time I've gotten to see them this summer! I'm so blessed! We spent the day shopping, having great fellowship, and hanging out with her precious daughter. Her daughter calls me "Sissy." My heart melts each time she says it. Anna is a wonderful mother and a wonderful, godly example - she's very patient, kind, and encouraging. I hope I'm half the mother she is. While I wish we didn't live in different states, it's comforting to know that no matter how far apart we are, she's always there for me. No matter what. For that, I'm eternally thankful.

Day 123 - We're cleared!

Quick update...in the middle of our 8th and final CWE session...
We got our FBI and ABI clearance in the mail today! Yay-we've been waiting on this for WEEKS! This is typically the report that takes the longest in a home study. This is the last thing we needed for our home study report.

More to come once we hear back from our social worker...
Praise the Lord!

Day 107 - Our profile

We're so excited - our profile is almost finished! This is the front cover, and we are thrilled with how it turned out! Our consultant did a great job designing it. We've just finished editing it and have sent it back.

I'll admit we did struggle some with the text of the profile at first - it just didn't sound like us. We made adjustments and edits, and it now conveys our personality. The perfectionist in me came out big time when revising it - to me, the profile is our "one shot" with a birth mother. No pressure! While we've been waiting for the profile to come back with the pictures in it, I let nervousness creep in about what it would look like. We weren't asked what colors we liked, what fonts we liked, or what picture we wanted for the cover. I have to admit I wasn't crazy about that. However, the Lord quickly humbled me when we received the proof. I shouldn't have worried - the colors are perfect. The design is outstanding. The cover shot is exactly what we would have chosen. I'm so thankful our Lord knows us so well - even down to our favorite colors! Even when we've worried and have been stressed, He's always been faithful to answer our prayers and guide us in our journey.

Day 100 - We are truly blessed!

A lot has happened since our last posting - we have a lot to be thankful for! Many of you have met or heard me talk about my dear Auntie B. She has cancer and has been under the care of MD Anderson in Houston. She went back for a check-up recently, and the doctors were floored! All, but a small area of cancer in her liver, was gone! It is truly a miracle! The doctors said it was unprecedented! Our family is truly blessed, and we are so thankful! Thank you for praying for her!

One of my oldest and dearest friends hosted a shower for Baby Dunn! We received so many wonderful things! I was blown away by the thoughtfulness and generosity of our family and dear friends! Baby Dunn is going to be loved by so many! So many of the gifts will be helpful for us when we travel to pick up Baby Dunn! Check out these lovely gifts:

We've also been finishing up our home study requirements. Matt and I had our physicals. Matt, ahem, had an interesting experience. We did get a call from our doctor yesterday with our blood test results, and all is well! We had to get multiple letters of reference - those are being sent to our social worker as we speak. We've very thankful for y'all doing this for us and for getting them to our social worker so quickly! Once he has all of them (seven to be exact), he'll type up his report and submit it to his supervisor for approval. Our consultant is working on adding pictures to our profile. We edited the text this past weekend and got it sent back to them on Sunday. Once the home study is complete and the profile is finished, we will apply to agencies! That could happen within the next several weeks!

Thank you for your continued prayer and support! We are truly blessed!

Day 88 - To spank or not to spank?

Today was by far our favorite home study visit! We were very relaxed, and so was our social worker. We sat casually in our den and had a great conversation. The time flew by and before we knew it, our social worker said, "Well, I guess that's it!"

Today's topics included our parenting styles, how we plan to discipline, and additional questions about adoption. Here are some of the questions we answered:
How will you handle an "attitude" from your child? (I had some great examples from college students!)
What will you say about your child's birth parents?
What are some parenting techniques you'll emulate with your child?
What are some techniques you won't?
What values do you hope your child will have?
What forms of discipline will you use?
Will you keep adoption a secret from your child?
How will you handle your child wanting to search for his or her birth parents?

We spent a lot of time discussing spanking - a subject that can be "taboo" in the adoption world. In some states, you can be denied a successful home study if you plan to spank. Matt and I were very up front and honest about spanking. We both were spanked as a last resort and will spank our child, if necessary. I know this can be a touchy subject, but one that had to be discussed today. We both feel that it can be used - only as a last resort. Personally, we both were spanked when nothing else worked. Taking it to an extreme and spanking while angry is extremely dangerous. With any discipline measure you use, we know it's important for our child to know what they are doing is wrong, why it is wrong, how they can correct it, how it affects others, and why it has consequences. However, it is key for our child to understand we love them unconditionally. No matter what.

The general theme that we kept going back to was "Model what you expect." I talk about this with our Head Camp Counselors. In fact, my boss said that one time several years ago, and I've continued to use it. It's exactly what we want to do with our child. We expect our child to be kind and considerate. We hope our child learns what's right and wrong from us. We expect honesty. We hope they live a life of integrity. We hope our child learns the value of hard work. We expect our child to respect us and respect others. Most importantly, we want our child to love Jesus. How they learn all of these begins with us. We model what we expect.

This was our last pre-baby visit. Our social worker will type up his report, gather our six reference letters, and submit his write-up to his supervisor for approval! He told us things looked really good for us - praise God! He has heard back from our child abuse and neglect clearance, but is still waiting on the results of our background checks. Please pray those results will come to him soon - this is the check that typically takes the longest. Matt and I have our physicals and blood tests early next week. Pending successful results, that's all we will do for this chapter in our journey. Our social worker said we could be approved in 2-4 weeks. Our adoption consultant in Georgia is working on our profile - we already have the text for that. Matt and I are going to proof that and get that back to them next week. Once they have that, they will add pictures. Once the home study is approved and the profile is finished, we'll apply to agencies! From there, we will move into the waiting chapter.

Jeremy Camp's song, "There Will Be A Day," has been on my mind tonight. Please pray specifically for a friend of mine traveling down the adoption journey too. Pray for her and her husband and for their wait.

There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more, we'll see Jesus face to face
But until that day, we'll hold on to you always

I know the journey seems so long
You feel you’re walking on your own
But there has never been a step
Where you’ve walked out all alone

Thank you for praying for us, sweet family and friends! We are truly blessed!

Coming up for air

I've been out of touch lately - CWE's Training Week, plus Sessions 1, 2, and 3 are now complete! It has flown by! I'm so thankful to have about a week before our next session. While I'll still be coming into work, it now means I'll actually be at my desk and in my office. Plus, I'll get to see Matt on a regular basis!


Our third and final visit with our social worker is in the morning at 8:30 a.m. Please say a prayer for us. From what I understand, this visit will be about our parenting styles (Umm, right now, it is sit, stay, and down for our four-legged friends!!) and our thoughts about discipline. I've been thinking alot about the discipline topic. I don't know what is going to work with our child - all I know is that Matt and I will love our child unconditionally, just as Jesus and our parents love us. It's hard for me to say, "We're going to do this ______." I just don't know. Matt and I were "good" kids - with our luck, we'll probably have a child that will be out of control. Oh well, that's okay. I'm thankful for this opportunity.


On a different note, we had a phenomenal worship service last Sunday night at church! I was able to leave Camp early and was so glad I did. Our choir combined with Greater Peace, and it was absolutely spirit-filled! There were over 100 voices - I had such a great time singing, clapping, and swaying! Yep, that's right - all of that at a baptist church! It was truly one of my favorite singing events to take part in...there was so much joy! It was such an encouragement to me and a nice break in the middle of a Camp session!